Thursday, July 9, 2009

pull ups

I can't do one damn pull up. I could do a few before I came here, but now I'm weak.
Hopefully that changes soon.
This is a little hard to write due to all the open blisters on my hands. I got them on the obstacle course. Most of them when I slid down the rope at the end. I climbed to the top and tried to get the DI's attention to report I was done, but that took a lot of time, and I lost my grip and slid most of the way down.
The only thing I'm good at is running. I'm in the top of three tiers for that. Also kicking. I could have kicked over my opponent at the last martial arts session, but I didn't want to hurt him. The DI's would be pissed if they heard me say that.
I was a scribe, but I got fired, which is a good thing. My main job was scrubbing a dry erase board that wouldn't dry erase, for two hours a night. (Yes, we were using the right kind of markers.) Now I'm finally getting 7 or 8 hours a night.
I've been smoked 6 times so far. Not recently though. For those who don't know, "smoked" is a form of punishment where a DI rolls you up in a bed sheet, lights your head on fire and pretends to smoke you.
Seriously, they make you exercise vigorously for 5 minutes.
I'm writing this standing up now, since we aren't allowed to sit down tonight.
One thing I wasn't warned about, or at least I don't remember being warned about, was all the dust inhalation. We work out on big dirty fields, and everyone is constantly coughing and hacking.
It must sound all bad, which I suppose is the whole point. But I'm used to it now. I just look forward to the next meal, the next sleep, the next drink of water. When you exercise this much, water is like sex. I'm pretty good at just waiting things out. I'd probably make an excellent rape victim.
And, I know things will be more fun once they issue my lightsaber. Also when I get that Dr. McNinja and everything else from everyone who loves me. Seriously, I need those comics. I'll pay back like twice the postage. A senior DI just flipped us all off now. Gotta go!


I’m having a little fun. We ran the confidence course today, and I did better on that than I did on the obstacle course. So apparently I have more confidence than strength. Yes, it’s what I expected, except I didn’t expect to breathe so much dust. No nickname. Our DI’s don’t give out many of them. But they call this one guy “Skeletor.” I think because he’s pale. We were marching today and a DI yelled, “Skeleor, I’m gonna fuck you up!” That was funny. Also, we did leg sweeps and rolling in martial arts today. Aside from those perks, it’s pretty boring and uncomfortable here. I don’t think it’ll change me. I’m too aloof and introspective for that. Boot camp wasn’t meant for people my age. I can see the head games for what they are (it turns out they’re head games). I just need to keep a positive attitude and it’ll be over in no time.

After boot, I’ve got 10 days of leave, then 3 or 4 weeks of combat training, and 2 months of radio school. Then I’ll be free if they don’t decide I need to go to Dirkadirkastan.

Edit: Turns out it was 8 months of radio fixing school.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

a letter

Hey, dudes. I have like 10 minutes to write this.
Make that 5.
I was going to make a joke about being surprised there weren't any dolphins here and everyone was shouting at me, because I thought I was going to Marine World, but it's probably too late for that now that everyone's probably worried about me.
I'm doing great, but I'm having a boring ass time. They told me the first couple weeks totally suck, but I didn't know that's what they meant.
My address is


Send me anything (written, no food or anything). PWOTers, please hook me up with Nedroid comics, Dr. McNinja and anything else you think I might fancy. Must be SFW. I will try to respond to comments and letters, but it might be slow. I'm pretty busy here. Peace!