Sunday, February 6, 2011

paying for sex

Hey guys, is that the conversation you want your girlfriend having after Valentine's Day? Flowers and chocolate just don't cut it anymore. This year, give her a gift she'll remember all night.

It's true: Sex inflation is going up. Buying things that will make her have sex with you is getting harder than ever. But Black Labs will keep you ahead of the game with the most unique gift idea ever.

She'll think she's the only woman in the world who has had this item bought for her.

Your unique gift will arrive in a deluxe cardboard box covered with air holes and sparkles.

These unique gifts are so hand-crafted, they're literally indented with fingerprints.

Each one comes with a personalized certificate of romance, proving the authenticity of your love.

So don't be that guy. This Valentine's Day, turn your sweetie into a crazy sex lunatic.


  1. I need my balls sucked out through my urethra. It's the only way to remove them.

  2. You can't actually remove balls via suction through the urethra. You would have to increase ambient pressure way beyond one atmosphere, and then you'd pulverize most of your groin and lose most of your blood. The set of easier ways to remove your balls is enormous. Jumping in a volcano would be a more practical way of ball removal than urethra suction. How can you know so little about physics? Something is wrong with you.